When Watching ‘It Ends With Us’ Took Me Back To My Own Story- Part 3
These injuries never fully heal, the scars remain. They remain to remind us of the battles that we fought and won. They remind us NEVER to go back. They remind us that this was not delusion, it happen
That did it!
I flatlined birthing my twins!
Nearly died!
How dare he touch my kid?!
I left my son crying, jumped up, and let loose. Gym girl and boxer here, I punched his eyes, kicked his legs fiercely and didn’t stop till he hit the floor.
“Coward! No strength? Onyeara, fool!”
Listen, this is one of my proudest moments in life!
For the first time, I defended myself against baby dinosaur and I took him down!
9th August, 2023!!!
When he got back on his feet, he grabbed the stool just next to him; I thought he’d throw it, so I turned to grab my son from the bed and run. Turning back, I saw him climb the stool, to pull something from the top of the wardrobe.
I remember recounting this story in detail to my best friend Nmesoma later that day, crying and shaking while she held me for hours. That was the first and probably the last time I had the opportunity to really cry about this because, right after this, I was on full blown battle mode and I was not given the chance to really process this day fully until recently. Even now, typing this from my journal, I’m trembling, how did I make it through?
These injuries never fully heal, the scars remain. They remain to remind us of the battles that we fought and won. They remind us NEVER to go back. They remind us that this was not delusion, it happened, it was real, you lived it and you moved on from it.
I knew that gun, bought when herdsmen hit Mbieri farmlands sometime between 2020 and 2022, according to him, his brother’s idea. Guns were a norm in this family. They were shot on New Year’s eve at his family house yearly. I have experienced 3 and in my usual manner, done exciting videos saying ‘Happy New Year’. My Snapchat and iCloud reminded me of these videos intermittently. Time froze as he quickly unwrapped it from the towel it had been wrapped in and cocked it, my life flashing. “Oluchi! Bia, o choro igbagbum!” His red eyes drilled into me; I couldn’t move. Oluchi ran up as quickly as her legs could carry her and as she appeared in the hallway upstairs, wide eyed, he uncocked and hid the gun in its towel. He was still on the stool. She’d later recount this story that day and the coming days, one on video and again in February of 2025 in the presence of a police officer and a few people; she saw.
I broke free from my fixated spot and ran downstairs, “Dugo, follow me. Oluchi, carry Mama, let’s go now!” Outside, I realized my phone was still recording on the bed in the masters bedroom. “My phone!” I screamed without thinking. Already downstairs in the sitting room and within my sight, I saw him grin, turn back and bolt upstairs. I chased, stopped at the sitting room, the gun incident still in my head. “It’s not worth it. Slippers on!” I yelled to my daughter. “Oluchi, car key, dining table, osiso” He came down, my phone in hand, “You were recording?” I ran with my son and first daughter; he grabbed Oluchi, took the key, “Which car? Do you have money to buy one?” he shoved her back inside with my crying twin, slammed the door, stepped outside and smashed my phone on the ground multiple times. Adaugo freed her hands from my grip and ran towards him, trying to pick up the pieces of the phone from the ground , “Daddy, why are you throwing mummy’s phone on the ground naw?” “Which mummy? He replied angrily, snatching the broken phone from her hand and continuing “Get out!”
It had been maybe 30 minutes to an hour since the time that I opened the gate so onlookers were gone. As he smashed my phone , I said to myself, “Tochukwu, mark him forever, you’re no victim. You are done being the victim in this story”. He had his back facing me, bare-chested and so the timing was perfect. I stepped back into the compound, dropped my son on the concrete ground, lunged towards him and bit his back till I tasted blood, rage, hurt, all of it. He screamed, couldn’t shake me off. As soon as I tasted blood, I let go, grabbed my son, ran, my daughter following suit behind me. Oluchi and my twin daughter, still inside, crying loudly. Barefoot, two kids in hand, I ran down Nnadozie Avenue. I stopped a motorcycle, gave my family’s address and hopped on with my babies, heartbroken, not from that hellhole that I had escaped, but from leaving my 2 girls behind.
I later found out from Oluchi after my mum went there to get her and my twin daughter that his elder brother had come and taken the gun away, grabbed the phone bits from the bush next door and basically tried to clean up his brother’s mess. She had alleged that she was bullied by the both of them to make a video claiming that I had come onto Chibuike unprovoked and he only hit me back to defend himself. She said that she did not comply but that there was a video.
A few days later, at my father’s Obi, his mum and elder brother swore with all things holy that there was no video and went ahead to allege that i had gotten delusional. Chike would ride on this for a whole year, swearing to all and sundry that I had gone mad and was imagining things. He bullied Oluchi into silence but I was convinced that she was not lying.
In 2024, I found the video! Chibuike Udunwa had deleted it from his phone initially and had at multiple occasions given me his phone to look through to confirm that there was no video. I even started doubting myself! But alas, on that beautiful October night in 2024 at the house at VGC, he had given me his phone to confirm once more that there was no video. I don't know what it was but i kept getting an urge to check his chats with his family members. Well, guess the video that was on his chat with mummy dearest?! It was shared that fateful day apparently for safe keeping. These people came to my father’s house 3 days later and swore and swore and swore that there was no such video but look at God! I immediately sent screenshots to my phone and also sent the video to myself. This man and his family swore it didn’t exist, called me crazy. But it was real, shared on WhatsApp, saved by his mom, ezigbo nne ya, then deleted from his phone.
In that 1 year before i found that video, Chibuike kept on the lie, Chibuike Udunwa begged, cried, bought me gifts, did all the theatrics to claim to be a changed man. This man had not changed one bit! He simply wanted to suck me back in and find ways to flip the script, become a victim and then walk away from the marriage. How do I know this? A lot happened after 2023! A lot of foiled plots, manipulation, etc. I knew that I was dealing with a group of people who would do anything to cover their tracks and so I started talking. I started talking to a therapist, to my friends and I started saving and recording every single thing. I knew that I was dealing with a very political and extremely manipulative psychopath backed by a herd of enablers who constantly told him that he was not wrong. I knew that it would take more than tears and shouting to win this. I gave another chance, but I gave it from afar! I gave it with my eyes wide open!
I’m stopping here. You need a breather, and I need to brace myself.
Think this was the worst? Nah, the real shit’s coming!